Nov 10, 2020

What an amazing few days it has been.

On Saturday, November 7th, 2020, the Star Phoenix published an article with commentary about me and the public speaking I have done with regard to the virtue of chastity and my own journey towards healing from trauma. It has been quite the journey, and I am always happy to share how that has unfolded in my life, and what I have learned along the way. I believe that the more voices there are sharing stories of healing, in whatever context, the better off we will be as a community, as a city, and even as a nation.

Stemming from that article, however, I received some very colorful messages that basically outlined how awful a person I must be for believing what I do. The problem is that this article misrepresents what I actually do believe. In fact, there were three misrepresentations in the headline alone, as described below.

The Headline: Catholic trustee candidate encourages chastity from LGBTQ2+ people, turn from ‘transgender inclinations’ 

 

 

The Misrepresentations

But first: Before addressing the misrepresentations, I feel it is very important to mention that I have learned that the secular understanding of the word “chastity” and the Catholic understanding of the word “chastity are wildly different. It does not take long online to discover that the secular understanding of chastity is tethered to a bizarre fetish wherein, typically, a male’s sex organs are constrained, bringing about a forced abstinence (perhaps also some sort of sexual gratification). This is not even remotely close to the Catholic understanding of chastity. The Catholic understanding has to do with the successful integration of one’s sexuality (CCC 2337). The successful integration, however, includes honoring and respecting the truths that are written into the physiological aspects of the human person. That includes the sexual complementarity of male and female, and also the fact that we are created as males or females (and that includes all genetic aberrations – some of which bring about the authentic intersex condition, which is not equivalent to “transgenderism”). Further, since chastity is a virtue, this pursuit of successful integration would necessarily be joyful. If it were not rooted in joy, then that would be a tell that one is not practicing chastity but rather something that might look like it, such as abstinence. In any case where the word chastity is being used to describe abstinence, that is a smoking gun to the fact that chastity is not being understood as it is intended to be understood by the Church.

Now… on to the misrepresentations from the headline:

1. The headline says I “candidate encourages chastity from LGBTQ2+ people”
The correction: I don’t encourage chastity in only LGBTQ2+ people, as the headline seems to imply; I do, however, propose chastity to all people (of all ages, and in all states in life, married or single). The headline makes it appear that I am singling out a particular group of people, and therefore can give the false impression that I accept (or even promote) discrimination against the LGBTQ2+ community, which is not the case. Also, it does nothing to clarify that chastity is a proposal of the Church and not an imposition of the Church.

2. The headline says I encourage people to “turn from transgender inclinations”
The correction: I don’t encourage people to “turn from transgender inclinations.” Rather, I have always encouraged people to be honest with themselves about their experiences, and have striven to help people understand that merely experiencing a particular sexual attraction/inclination is not a sin. While I do not encourage people to “turn from transgender inclinations,” I do, however, encourage all people to continuously strive to turn to Jesus Christ. This, in turn, includes proposing to all people that they continuously surrender their heart to Jesus Christ, the King of Kings – who loves every person dearly. Through this, people may come to know His love more profoundly, and through that, I have seen people’s desire to grow in the virtue of chastity (as understood by the Church) begin to blossom – alongside great joy and often a newfound wonder in life and with newfound hope for the future. No one deserves to have the opportunity for newfound joy and or hope stolen from them. Further, through my own lived experience as someone who used to self-identify as gay and then transgender, I know that encouraging someone to “turn from transgender inclinations” is not even close to being helpful, for someone who has embraced that mindset needs to be welcomed where they are at.

Note: The above two corrections were discussed with the editor, and they refused to adjust or withdraw the headline, citing that the clarifications (to them) made no material difference.

3. The headline says that I “encourage chastity”
The correction: The correction here is not to do with what is written in the headline, but again is with regard to how people tend to misunderstand chastity. If people can get past the secular understanding of chastity, many still get hung up on the differences between chastity, abstinence, and celibacy. Encouraging chastity (as it is understood by the Church) is wildly different from celibacy (the state of being unmarried) and abstinence (not doing something). Chastity pertains to the desire in our hearts to pursue successful integration of our sexuality (see the note above). That being said, I don’t encourage celibacy or abstinence, but rather I encourage chastity as it is understood by the Church. Likewise, I don’t encourage abstinence, but rather I encourage chastity. Granted, the fact that chastity is not clarified as distinct from celibacy is not necessarily the fault of the Star Phoenix, for I could have chosen to respond to their messages beforehand to possibly clear that up. However, this distinction is of critical importance because the words “abstinence” and “celibacy,” especially when perceived as being Church-imposed, most often carry within them the nuance that the Church, in Her “disdain” for the people of the LGBTQ+ community, does not “allow” them to love whom they love, and therefore does not “allow” them to come to fruition and or to experience fulfillment in who they are.

What needs to be underscored is that these three misrepresentations all point to the necessity of a proper understanding of chastity as understood by the Church. Without this understanding, a person is simply left to make assumptions about what the Church is saying without actually knowing the what the Church is saying. It would be akin to how someone who unknowingly sings the wrong lyrics to a song would likely be, at least to some degree, missing out on the meaning of the song as intended by the author of that song. As an analogy, we must understand the lyrics to the “Song of the Church” in order actually understand what the Song of the Church is all about.

How to Respond?

One might expect me to lash out in retaliation at those who, after seeing that article, chose to forthrightly express disparaging remarks about my character. In days prior, I very well might have done so, on account of the wounds of my heart that I had not yet begun to even recognize, let alone address. Even now, I am a work in progress, and I will be for the rest of my life, because that is how the process of healing from trauma works (though today I am moving forward, still acknowledging my past but no longer living within it). The reality is that I can’t lash out at them. Rather, I am drawn more and more to empathize with them; I have come to see that their responses are similar to what mine were before I understood what chastity was all about (and certainly before I realized that it was different than celibacy and abstinence).

Also, from the bottom of my heart, I know that those who responded in anger believe their responses were right and just; I trust they have honorable intentions. However, because I too believe in striving to do what I believe is right and just, I more than ever desire to create a space of dialogue, or even perhaps simply a space for listening, so that I can hear the stories of these people who are upset, and learn more about what it is that moves their hearts in the way that they are moved.

In meeting with others, whether over coffee, breakfast, or beers, I want people to know that I am open to listening to what they have to say – not just for the sake of providing a counterpoint, but rather for the sake of real listening, motivated by a desire to respect and grow with those who are communicating with me.

To that end, I can be reached at info@hudsonbyblow.com to arrange a visit, online conversation, or even a debate if it is proposed in good will. I will do my best to respond in a timely manner.